Title: Third time’s a charm
Pairing: Jesse/AdamRating: NC-17 most def
Summary: The story of how Jesse Lacey fell for Adam Lazzara.
Warning: Kinda PWP, a lot of smut, some fluff. It’s pretty great.
The first time it happened really was an accident. I was drunk and his house was closer, I wasn’t about to dive in the condition I was in. I’m not an idiot; well I probably am, the way things played out.
I remember walking up the stairs to his apartment and watching those way, way too tight jeans hugged his thighs, low on his hips and his ass and I remember staring, and wanting so badly in my drunken stupor to reach out and grab those hips, bring him closer to me so I could feel his sharp bones against my palms.
In my head, I knew it was wrong to even be thinking that. We were crossing into dangerous territory. It’s one thing to be horny when you’re seventeen but I was twenty three at the time and a little to be old to be fawning over anyone who was in my way. Adam was always fucking around with anyone he could get his beautiful hands on. Gender seriously didn’t seem to matter to him.
He tripped once we were in the doorway and I probably wouldn’t have been able to catch him in the state I was in if I hadn’t already been itching for a reason to put my hands on him.
He started laughing hysterically, wound his arms around my neck and nuzzled his nose just below my jaw. This really wasn’t supposed to happen and I wasn’t thinking except that I was horny as shit and I knew Adam would do it so… I kissed him.
It wasn’t glamorous or passionate or anything. It was sloppy, and wet, and rushed, and it kinda hurt and I wasn’t even sure if it was really happening.
And then there were hands and lips, and fingers wrapped oh so tightly around cocks and I know I probably screamed, I probably couldn’t breathe. I’m a quiet person, not shy, just quiet. But I get loud in bed, I’ve always been that way, as soon as I let go of my inhibitions there’s no holding back.
I remember my heart was pounding so fucking hard against my chest, I remember what Adam felt like suspended above me, grinding his cock against my cock and moaning. He said my name; I remember that for sure, I was so surprised to hear it said like that out of his mouth.
I know I woke up there, sticky and stuck to him. I laid there for a while, letting the situation sink in before I got up and took a shower, and the more I cleaned the mess off of my body the angrier I was.
Not so much at Adam, I wasn’t as mad at him I was at myself. I had kissed him, I knew that. I had started it, I had wanted it. And that, more than anything, made me angry.
I wrote a note that said
I had to be downtown by ten, sorry to bail.
I didn’t write “thanks for the hospitality because that would be ridiculous. I also didn’t write “I had fun last night” because that too would be insane. I hoped he wouldn’t be offended but mostly I hoped he didn’t remember anything because I really didn’t want things with us to be awkward.
On the drive downtown I blasted music and screamed myself hoarse, I wanted to hurt myself, I was just angry, not even sad, just angry. The sadness came after the second time.
Adam and I were careful and quiet around each other for a month, we never talked about it but it was under the surface of everything we ever said to each other. I would look up to find him looking at me with this look on his face; he would meet my eyes and look away ashamed. I did the same thing, without noticing. All of a sudden Adam would look over and I realized I had been staring at him, at his lips, his hair, his neck.
It’s an odd thing about sex, or good sex I suppose. Once you get a taste for someone, no one else can really satisfy that need. I started sleeping with girls almost daily, trying to quench this thirst that was eating away at me but it wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t panting or screaming, I was just tired and annoyed.
And then, about a month later, it happened again. As soon as I walked into the bar with John and met up with Adam, I knew it would. I wanted it to. I reasoned with myself that it was just a brief moment and that I needed to drink those thoughts away. Yes, drinking would make everything better. Deep down in my subconscious I knew that drinking would be what would get me what I wanted.
Every shot Adam took, his eyes were on me. He wanted me to know what he was thinking, that he was thinking what I was thinking. He was challenging me.
In a storm of dark blue and brown our eyes did the talking. I didn’t even need to say anything, by the end of the night, John was heading back uptown to his place, and Adam and I lived the opposite direction. We told John to take a cab uptown and we would split one going back the other way.
As soon as we were in the cab and pulling away Adam kissed me. I didn’t even think, I grabbed his face and pulled him closer to me, franticly trying to taste him. Panting, I slid my hand onto his thigh, dragging my fingernails along his jeans. He trembled next to me and moved to straddle me. The cabby started yelling, and Adam said “Dude, just drive, please” and handed him a twenty. It worked; we reached my place, which was closer, in less than ten minutes. Adam was still moving his hips against mine and panting in my ear, his breath was hot and sweet and full of alcohol.
Once we were in the apartment, Adam began attacking my clothing. He yanked my shirt off over my head and trailed his too short fingernails along my chest and to my hips. I kissed his neck and then his collar bone. I pushed him up against the wall and nipped at his ear, tugging at his shirt.
He lifted one leg to wrap around my waist, supporting himself on the other. I pushed against him, and groaned low in my chest. It felt so fucking good, to just push like that. To grind against something so hard and so hot and so Adam. I fingered the button of his jeans quickly, trying to undo it without pulling away from his lips. His fingers moved mine away and undid the button as I undid my own. We kicked off jeans as we stumbled down the hall and into my bedroom. Adam toppled onto the bed and I moved to suspend myself above him.
“Oh fuck, Jesse” he said as I pushed against him. “God you’re so hot, I can’t take it.” He was mumbling and moaning, smiling.
I kissed him again, and he put his hands in my hair. “I want you in me, please” he said, “I need to feel you in me, ok?”
I nodded, taking a moment to gauge the situation and realizing that I would probably agree to anything he asked me right now.
He reached down and pulled my boxers off of my hips and over my ass, kicking off his own in the process.
“Do you have lube?” he asked, I nodded and reached into the bedroom drawer. I knew that Adam had done this before, but I hadn’t. I never thought I would either, I couldn’t believe I was doing it now but believe me when I say no way in hell could I have stopped even if I wanted to.
I warmed up a considerable amount of lube in my hands and then slowly lathered my dick.
“Use your fingers first” Adam told me and I nodded, taking my still lubed up fingers and gently bringing one up to rub around his sensitive hole. He trembled and wrapped his legs around me, moving closer to me. I stuck one finger inside him slowly, moving it around, stretching him a bit. He closed his eyes and pushed down on my hand, gyrating his hips in a circle. He moved methodically as I slipped another finger inside of him, he knew what he was doing and soon I figured it out. I knew where to rub to make his face screw up like that.
“Shit” he breathed “Jess, please….shit”
I took my cock and slowly slipped the tip into him, letting him adjust.
“Okay, go” And so I did. I pushed in all the way to the hilt and he pushed and stretched to accommodate me. I couldn’t believe how hot he was, how tight. How beautiful he looked laying there, his eyes shut tightly, hips pushing up, and down, and up again.
“Move Jess, please, oh god move”
I thrust in and was met with a groan of pleasure, by the third thrust I was making more noise than he was. My fingernails were digging into his shoulders and I was biting my lip, trying not to cry out.
“Oh shit, Adam, yes. Oh my god, you’re so tight, how are you fucking tight?” “God you feel so good, please, just like that.” He wound his arms around me, and threw his head back. “I’m so fucking close, God you feel so good, you’re amazing, please don’t stop, harder, harder” “Like this?” I asked him, pushing in at an angle so that he cried out, high pitched and desperate.
He was trembling, it was so hot. I was ready to spill myself just looking at him, the way his dark eyes were almost black, his hair falling in his face, his thin arms holding onto me as if I were the only thing keeping him grounded on earth. My voice rasped as I told him that “I can’t last much longer, oh shit” I pushed harder, thrusting upward and biting into his neck. I knew he would be bruised for days. I reached down and stroked his dick, three pumps and he was spilling himself onto me, I followed almost instantly. I cried out, my face screwed up so much I’m sure it looked more like pain than pleasure.
We pulled away panting, sweating, and shaking.
“Oh my God” I said, “I know, holy shit” he said “No, Adam, oh my God.”
He looked at me and said “I know…”
I squeezed my eyes tight and threw my arm over my eyes to block out any light. I could hear Adams breathing as he fell asleep next to me.
I knew we would both remember this, we weren’t even that drunk.
The next day when he left, I didn’t kiss him goodbye, I just wanted to be away from him. I cried for almost an hour, I missed him so much. The thought that I would never get to be with him again was crushing, it was the weight of a thousand bodies on my chest. I told myself I could have him, he was right there waiting for me. But I wouldn’t let myself do this, never again. Never, never, never again.
I washed his smell off of me that night and fell asleep on clean, sterile sheets. I ignored his calls, his messages begging me to call him, to please don’t be mad, to please, just tell him if I’m mad.
A week later I showed up at his house, he opened the door slowly, angrily. I knew he was mad; he had every right to be mad at me. He didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything and for a minute we just stood like that.
“Adam…” His eyes raked over me, took me in and begged me to just leave or to stay or to go die or to just, I don’t even know what he wanted. I don’t even know what I was thinking he wanted; all I could see were his lips, parted ever so slightly and wet with his spit. Lips that I needed to taste more than anything. I kissed him, my hands balled up in fists my sides, not sure what to do.
But Adam, the patron saint of sex kissed me back. Tasted me back and moaned when I pushed closer, pushed him through the door and onto the floor in his living room. I couldn’t wait to be in his bed, I couldn’t wait for anything. I missed him so much.
I’m on the floor of his apartment, and he’s kissing my chest and this is the third time I’m doing this and its only now occurring to me that maybe there’s something to this.
Maybe I’d go insane if I had to go another day without his lips.
Insane with another day without those hands, and hips and fingers.
Insane without this, without Adam, Adam, Adam.
I wanted him in me all of a sudden, more than anything I had ever wanted in my life.
I wanted his weight on me, and I told him, and he asked me over and over if I was sure and oh god, I was.
I so was. I had never been surer of anything.
The pain was almost too much to handle, I had tears streaming down my face which he kissed away. He asked me if he could stop but I didn’t want him to, he even pleaded, he said he couldn’t bear to hurt me and I said I wanted it, I needed it.
Soon the pain turned to pleasure though, and then I cried for other reasons. All the tears blended together as he moved over me like waves. He crashed on the shores of my chest and buried his face in my neck, crying my name.
I cried when I came, biting my hand and trying my best to keep my eyes open and focused on him. He kissed me as he spilled into me, seeping out and around me and it was so fucking perfect I almost couldn’t handle it.
I held him for a while after, and he was silent before saying, quietly, slowly “Jesse?”
“Please don’t leave me this time.”
“I won’t Laz, I won’t.”
I kissed him and said “Laz?”
“Do you wanna go out with me sometime, on a date?”
He laughed and buried his head in my chest, kissed my ribs and said “Yeah, I’d like that.”